Role Models.

Recently I bought an Essence magazine. Now if you know me, you know that I don't buy magazines. But this one caught my eye more than the others. There is a letter(in this month's edition) from Michelle Obama to the readers. Mrs. Obama, is my first role model outside of women I actually know. Next month i'll be honored with an award for my work in the field of girls education. The theme, "Lifting as we climb," really hasn't settled in until lately. Reading both the letter and receiving this award has left me in a contemplative state about role models that I have had throughout my life. Starting with my mom and going down the list to women who have been 'lifting me as I climb', all have made an impact on my life. My attitude and outlook on life stems from the support these women have given me, imparting on me the knowledge and confidence to conquer whatever lies in my way. These women have shown me how to work hard for what you want and to not stop until you get it. I have a hard time with the idea of getting an award for work that i'm passionate about, it is even harder knowing that there are plenty of women out there that may be more deserving of this award. I know with the acceptance of this award, I am assuming the responsibility of 'lifting others as they climb' . I can't force someone else to be a role model. I can't force someone to want to set a good example for those coming behind them, but I can lead by example. Given what I have been given in role models(there are many), it is because of them that I know I can wake up everyday and tell myself something that I love about myself. I'm strong and confident(perhaps overly confident). I no longer feel the need to be validated by others, I tell myself I am beautiful everday because I can't wait for someone else to tell me(that may leave me waiting). I take advantage of all opportunities presented and live life to the fullest. I set goals and meet them. I love openly. I listen before I speak. I'm observant and honest. Calm and responsible. Patient and kind. I am all of the above because of my role models and if I can instill these values, this confidence, and this love for self, in someone else, then I know have passed on what I have been given.

Blah blah blah blah

I've been in DC about a month now. No, I don't have a job yet but i'm slowly but surely getting adjusted to life here. It's interesting. People are friendlier, the happy hours are a nice way to cap off or start an evening, and i'm liking my classes so far. A lot of things have ran across my mind and i'm not sure where exactly to go with it. I'm liking the fact that i'm meeting new people, mostly folks on my wave length, some or many who are not(but that's ok). Although the competitive nature of life here is really not my speed, I like the options in my field available here.

School has been interesting....I definetly feel like a grad student when I see the undergrad scurry about, some oblivious to the larger world around them, some who i'm sure have a lot more on their shoulders and a lot more on their mind than the eyes can see. Seeing as I don't live anywhere near campus, I don't feel like a part of the student body. Which can be seen as a good or bad thing I guess. My professors are cool, one doesn't believe in the publishing industry so he printed out all of our readings. The other more green teacher has made us purchase our books and I believe I have printed off atleast 250 pages of reading(I guess its ok to make others kills trees when its not hanging over your head...or maybe I should just upload the electronic copy but I can't really comprehend without something I can phyiscally touch...i'm a hands on learner). Both professors are passionate about what they do and have information that will be applicable to my future career.

Jobs...i'm patiently waiting for something to come along. I have been meeting with the career center to better my resume and I have sent out 50+ resumes so far, I've gotten a few interviews and nothing has panned out so far but who knows what this week will hold.

I'll be in Chicago the weekend of the 16th for an honoree banquet for the award I am receiving(check out previous post for info.).

My twin brother is engaged!!!! I'm so excited for him and his new fiance. I love them both and glad that they will me making that larger committment to spend their lives together. She will be a great addition to the family. :)

I have the urge to learn french and arabic and hopefully once things are settled I can explore them a bit further.

I want to get back to my community service work and hoping that things can settle soon so that I can find a time to do so.

I found the perfect place to live, buts it not available until Nov.1st. Still I want it....



Sorry if this bored you...my mind is pretty free of thoughts at this moment but stay posted.

round and round it goes...

I think today may have been the first day I truly felt like I was back in America. 1) I saw the White House! 2) I got to listen to Delilah on the radio(yes, I'm a huge Delilah fan...don't hate). I also think that today was first day I really missed Malawi. I miss my own little house and my space. I miss doing work i'm passionate about and passion for every aspect of life. I miss the laidback attitude of folks. I'm tired of dealing with uptight folks...I'm tired of not having anything to do that i'm passionate about. I'm tired of waiting around for some type of job to deem me good enough to work for them(although I know i'm good if not better, still some folks just don't get it). Guess i'm in a bit of a slump and thank God for classes starting this week because I'll finally have something that is challenging going on. Time to set some new goals for myself that way I have something to work towards.

Osataya Mtima!

After waiting anxiously to hear back from AGE on whether or not i've been selected for a follow-up interview, I was told that I was not selected for a second interview at this time. Talk about a blow to the ego, but staying true to my positive side, it is not the end and there is an opportunity out there waiting for me, just not this one. I feel like a punk for crying about it, but it was ideal or maybe I just made it ideal. Either way the search was ongoing so I don't feel like i've wasted time waiting. A million possible things run through my mind but honestly its probably the best thing at this time, with all thats going on with this transition and jumping back into academia, maybe I need something less challenging...who knows. All I know is its good to know their decision so now I know to aggressively pursue other opportunities.

Osataya Mtima!

taking it one day at a time

So I decided to take a break from my job search to write a little. This whole job application thing is not for be, but I guess it has to be for me seeing as I need a job. I'm not sure how many places I have applied to but my resume is floating out there waiting for someone to grab it and give me a chance. I try not to be too picky in my search, ideally I will find a position that lies somewhere along my interests, past experiences, or skills. I try to be hopeful in the sense that the right opportunity will present itself when its meant to be presented, but after being in Malawi and being in control of the opportunities presented, its hard to wait. I mean there if I wanted something to get done, I got it done. If I wanted to focus my energy on a certain project I could do that. Why isn't there something like Peace Corps in America? I mean give me some money and to seek out projects and work related to my passions and interests and watch me work. I know that if given the right opportunity then i'll be able show whoever just what i'm capable of. Coming to DC is a catch 22 i'm coming to find out. I mean non-profit capital of the world, endless opportunities, but just like my reasonings for choosing DC as my next place of residence, several others have as well, meaning more competition. I know, and maybe I need to take a step back, but I really can't, I know that i'm the sh*t. My experiences are diverse and what I can bring to any environment is unique from that of others.

I feel like i'm back in Malawi during my first few months. I live with a host family i.e my cousin, still trying to figure out where i'll leave my mark and what my focus will be in my upcoming work, and adjusting to life different from the one i'm use to. As long as I put it in that perspective i'm able to deal with the fact that i'm not good with transitions. Been there, done that...right? Yeah...right. Patience truly is a virtue and I know deep down that the position i'm meant for will present itself at the right but until then, a place holder will have to do...Starbucks anyone?

Ummmm...really?

What in the world?
I'm not sure if other folks have noticed, but it appears as if the economic climate has something to do with waist size. Now, let me put a disclaimer on this...if you are on the heavier side its ok as long as you're healthy. Not everyone's body type is meant to be skin and bones.
Ok, so since i've been back I have realized just how the economic crisis has impacted people...well, their mid-section. I'm surprised to see the gross amount of overweight and unhealthy folks there are. You may not be hung up on being healthy for vanity purposes but you should be hung up on it for longevity purposes. Come on now...heart disease kills and if prevention means skipping out on some fries and taking a walk, I think its worth it. My goal when I arrived back stateside was not to lose weight or maintain the weight i'm at, its to maintain and adopt the more healthy eating and exercise lifestyle I had in Malawi. Why? because it makes me feel good(and look better). The crap we put in our bodies is going to come out our bodies in some negative way. My rule of thumb is moderation. Do everything in moderation and it always balances out.
I plan on running a marathon next year, no i'm not a size two but my body and heart will be strong and healthy enough to withstand that type of pressure. I think everyone should set some type of health related goal, I mean we have no problem setting them when we want to make money, and stick to it. I mean just think how good it will feel when you reach the goal and know you're healthier because of it.

back away from the whopper....just once or twice can make a difference.

OK..so my next observation has to deal with men. Oh, Lord, Jesus, what is going on there? If you found a good one, you should consider it a great accomplishment. Now, some of the things I have noticed and heard may or may not be true for all. Again, please do not take what I say as generalizations of a entire population. So, i've been living in DC a total of 9 days now with 2 of those days spent in NYC so far. I'm fresh, i'm new and i'm trying to learn the ins and outs of the city. I never knew that I would get so many warnings about the behavior of the men. From guys who don't know you feeling through your hair just to check and to see if its real, to men on the serious "down low" tip.
First, its extremely offensive to put your hands in anyone's hair if you don't know them and don't ask for permission. Second, if a girl wants to wear weave or whatever it is her head, on her body, and her choice. Pro-choice is not just for reproductive health anymore...Third, if you the dude trying to feel for some realness mess up the weave are you willing to pay for it? I didn't think so...remember you break you buy. Don't touch things that do not belong to you, save the hair check for a legit date or something of that nature and ask. Or be man about it and ask! If you don't like a girl with weave then leave the girl alone, she is not doing anything to bother you.
Second, "down low" men. Its played out...Yeah, thats right, I said it and will say it again...ITS PLAYED OUT!!! Be honest and real, you running around living a double life and hiding is not cute nor is it real. Be a man and be honest. If you love your ladies but enjoy being with a dude every now and then, be honest. You are more judged when you hide and lie then being upfront and truthful. We are in the 21st century, I believe we have become a bit more progressive and can handle it better. Now, if someone can't then its their choice not to, but really, do you want to associate with people that won't accept you for you? Keep it real.
Third, what ever happen to the common courtesy and manners? Damn, folks, i'm tired of dealing with rude people when i've been kind and respectful. There is no reason for you to take your anger out on the world. Simply take a deep breath analyze the situation and keep it moving. If you can't change it, doesn't make sense to ruin a day over it. Stop being so selfish, you never know how a smile or good morning can cheer someone up. For example, every morning I walk my cousin's dog past this garage place on her block and every morning i'm greeted by the same group of workers with a "good morning" then a "have a good day" so simple but it starts the day off right. Small things like that can have a great impact on how a person's day goes...don't be afraid to smile...it will come back to you.

Save the Date!

http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=erLOK1PJLsF&b=4444857