Random thoughts

For some reason this seems to be a reoccuring theme. I'm 25 soon to be 26 and it seems like this is the appropriate age to be settled down and getting ready to be married. For a long time I thought that this was the practical next step because it's suppose to be that way, only to realize that it's all lies! Yes, lies! Now don't get me wrong, if you find that special someone that completes your world then by all means go for it, but I have come to realize that some times we settle because we try to meet those expectations of getting married and fulfilling the roles that society has created. Trust me, everyone wants that special someone, their partner in crime, and for a long time this was me because I failed to realize that I had several partners in crime on this journey through life i'm taking. I would romanticize the idea of being with someone walking down a road in an African village, someone that did not experience life with me from afar but next to me. But with the ending of a relationship and some solid words of advice from my twin I realized that I do have what I want. I am able to experience this life with those that I care about and I may not be heading down the aisle I am heading somewhere and not settling for whatever comes my way. I realized that I wouldn't settle for anything else in my life, education, career, why would I settle when it comes to a partner? I think a lot of times we settle to appear to be desirable with others, like having someone on our arm is validation that we are someone and someone that someone else finds attractive. Now this all goes to mindset we all struggle with validation from others, failing to be able to validate ourselves. The attitude I have taken since Peace Corps has been one that may seem confident. Seriously, you go live in the village somewhere without water and electricity and tell me you're not off the chain and the Sugar Honey Ice Tea. Everyday I can look at myself and feel proud of who I am, what I have accomplished and where I have come from. People's opinions have no bearing on my opinion of myself and I think having this attitude gives me the upperhand when coming to selecting a mate. We are typically attracted to partners that share similar qualities as ourselves, but many times over I find women(and men) who settle for partners who may not be on their level because they need that validation from the outside world that they are desirable. Wake up world! We all have gifts to give this world and we need not think that we have to fit a box in order to feel important. Hell, if you feel important in your world then you are. There is no age that you can place on love. But there is also no time limit to when it is suppose to happen.

This post was inspired by my twin brother. He is engaged to what I would call his life long sweetheart. Their relationship stems back to elementary school and even though they have had ups and downs, they have managed to move through them and past them. When you find a love like this, I think it's truly something to cherish. Until then, don't settle for anything just because everyone feels that you should be walking down that aisle.


Ok...I know this is a bit random but it's been on my mind.

On another note, i've been asked to present at a conference my research on Sudanese women and their access to education. First formal presentation for grad school...got butterflies but excited.


Sudan is coming along slowly but surely. Right now they're checking references. I was recently offered a position in north Sudan(crazy!). South Sudan is my preference but please do not put it past me to head north....hahahahaha. about 6-7 weeks to go!

The spring is here and I can tell because my allergies are acting a hot mess. Claritin states it's non-drowsy but for some reason my body still acts like it is drowsy.

I love that when I walk out my front door I can see the Capitol and if I walk a block over I can see the Washington Monument.

I have been quite exhausted lately and realize that it stems from a lack of working out. Sunday the workouts will resume...

My birthday is coming up in 2 months and 2 weeks!

It's funny my life is busy and my social life is lacking but when I had too much time I complained as well. I need to figure out that balance...

If I was to create a soundtrack to my life the headliner song would be Des'ree's Gotta be.

Going to Grandma's House

Now let me put a disclaimer...I love my yia yia. In her own ways she's was a good woman(may she rest in peace) but we just didn't have that connection that some others may have with their grandparents. It's funny that I make the comparison of uncomfortable or awkward situations as going to grandma's house but it has worked in allowing me to cope with these situations. I remember being in Malawi and thinking about all the situations where my presence was expected(funerals, weddings, other village ceremonies) but I didn't necessarily want to go. I would have to sike my mind up to going to these functions and would tell myself that it was like going to grandma's house. I was expected to go but didn't want to always to go because well...I guess dynamics need to be explained here. As many of you know or don't know i'm half Greek. Now my yia yia(grandma) was a typical Greek woman in my eyes. Went to church, hung out with church friends and other Greeks, cooked, and the likes. But seeing as my grandma was Greek and raised surrounded by other Greeks and i'm bi-racial and raised surrounded by all types of people, are outlooks on the world were very different. She was funny and she could cook, but sometimes there were these awkward silences that I swear I could hear crickets chirping 5 states away. When it was time to go to yia yia's house, I would have to build it up in my mind that it really isn't that bad and that it's the right thing to do because she is my grandma and well it's the least I could do because she did play a roll in me being here. So now whenever I have an awkward situation I tell myself it's like going to grandma's, something you have to do but may not always want to do but will allow the other person some type of satisfaction because you did.