The topic of several conversations I've had lately is dating. What's the purpose? What is expected? Why date? Who to date? The more I talk about it the more I realize that I have to shape my own perspective of it. I have never been a big dater or player or whatever you want to call it. Its far too complicated for me to try to juggle this person and that person and remember this conversation and that conversation. Since I came back from South Sudan I have gone on several dates. Some good, some bad, some leaving me to wonder what the hell am I doing or what I was thinking. From these experiences I have come to realize that although I prefer to be in a relationship vs. playing the field, dating is required in order to know whether this person has the potential to be something more.
I know I have gotten good at being able to realize from the beginning whether something has long term potential or if its just going to be a short term fling, I have gotten good at recognizing certain characteristics that are non-negotiables and ones that can be overlooked. I'm sure i'm not the easiest person to date, my schedule is all over, I get bored easily and i'm quite selfish with my time and how I spend it so this can be seen as a roadblock for some, to me not really. Obviously knowing oneself and how you fit into the dating equation makes things easier when things don't turn out how one would hope and it makes it easier when it comes to figuring out what it is you're looking for. One thing I think is difficult about dating is going on a date with a person who would make a great friend but because the first interaction has a romantic undertone, its difficult to shift into that friendship mode. I think a majority of the guys I have gone on a date with I could see as friends (I don't deal with busters) but because both parties may not see it that way it becomes a sinking ship that has sunk. On the flipside it can be easy to jump on the first boat that takes interest in you and ride the ride until you wake up and come to your senses...I don't see the point in that, why waste time when you know that this person is not necessarily the person for you? It becomes easy to look around at others in relationships or those seriously dating and compare whatever your situation is to that only to be left feeling that something is missing when the situation you have is the situation you're meant to be in at that time. I guess it's all int he perspective that you take and knowing what it is that you want, both which could not happen without experience. So as I embark on this wonderful world of dating, I have to remind myself to have fun, enjoy the experience and be open to whatever path is being set in front of me.
I know I have gotten good at being able to realize from the beginning whether something has long term potential or if its just going to be a short term fling, I have gotten good at recognizing certain characteristics that are non-negotiables and ones that can be overlooked. I'm sure i'm not the easiest person to date, my schedule is all over, I get bored easily and i'm quite selfish with my time and how I spend it so this can be seen as a roadblock for some, to me not really. Obviously knowing oneself and how you fit into the dating equation makes things easier when things don't turn out how one would hope and it makes it easier when it comes to figuring out what it is you're looking for. One thing I think is difficult about dating is going on a date with a person who would make a great friend but because the first interaction has a romantic undertone, its difficult to shift into that friendship mode. I think a majority of the guys I have gone on a date with I could see as friends (I don't deal with busters) but because both parties may not see it that way it becomes a sinking ship that has sunk. On the flipside it can be easy to jump on the first boat that takes interest in you and ride the ride until you wake up and come to your senses...I don't see the point in that, why waste time when you know that this person is not necessarily the person for you? It becomes easy to look around at others in relationships or those seriously dating and compare whatever your situation is to that only to be left feeling that something is missing when the situation you have is the situation you're meant to be in at that time. I guess it's all int he perspective that you take and knowing what it is that you want, both which could not happen without experience. So as I embark on this wonderful world of dating, I have to remind myself to have fun, enjoy the experience and be open to whatever path is being set in front of me.
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