Ok...not quite. There are always limitations. Some are self-imposed, some imposed by others, and then there are environmental limitations...etc. There is some type of limitation but I believe there is a way to navigate within and around these limitations to live the life you want.
I would like to think that I had a little breakthrough this weekend. I was in my Reiki II training and we were working with oracle cards. One of the cards that was presented for me was around the theme of internal conflict. Y'all this card was so timely. I shared with my fellow trainees as to where the internal conflict was coming from and it came down to the fact that my way of coping with my mom's illness did not align with how others felt or believed how I should be coping. I literally started questioning my own emotional response thinking maybe i'm in denial. Nope, i'm not. I'm very aware of the outcome of my mom's illness and I am not fearful of death (feel free to ask about my beliefs around this...better yet stay tuned to a future blog). Now don't get me wrong, it's a sad situation and i'm empathetic to what my mom is going through, but i'm not sad. At that moment I decided that I will no longer live to the expectations of others, I will no longer be limited by the expectations of others, and I no longer will limit myself.
I told my bestie that I want to sell all my stuff (except my books and photos) and buy a bike. She suggested I hold on to some pieces. I understand her logic but then again that would be allowing someone to limit the life I desire. Yes, furniture can be expensive but luckily I didn't pay much for what I had and sure it took my a whole weekend to paint my table. It has brought me joy and it can bring someone else joy. Why hold on to things that can be replaced and who knows where I will be in life when my mom makes her transition? I do know that wherever I end up, I have no problem getting what I need. #Livewithoutlimits
Besides my bike, I want to date. A lot .Yeah, I have certain time constraints but when you are establishing a friendship there is no reason why it can't be worked around and the right people will understand. Now I probably won't lead in with "hi my name is courtney and my mom has cancer." I'm in a place life wise where I ready to be madly in love with the right person to the point where others may be slightly grossed out (but not really)#lovewithoutlimits
I want to travel more. Near and far. Supporting my mom has really slowed down the way I commit to things and has made me commit to less things freeing up my time. It has been awhile since I have had whole weekends to myself and now that it's becoming more of a norm, I see if becoming more of a norm to add some travel. #travelwithoutlimits
Last but not least, I want to maintain a mind of gratitude and joy regardless of those around me. Misery loves company but i'm not joining it. I consider myself lucky to be on a natural upper. Overall, I am happy with the way life flows and it takes a lot to bring be down. Honoring my truth, I will not sway with those around me. #joywithoutlimits
Leave it to death to make you want to live.
I would like to think that I had a little breakthrough this weekend. I was in my Reiki II training and we were working with oracle cards. One of the cards that was presented for me was around the theme of internal conflict. Y'all this card was so timely. I shared with my fellow trainees as to where the internal conflict was coming from and it came down to the fact that my way of coping with my mom's illness did not align with how others felt or believed how I should be coping. I literally started questioning my own emotional response thinking maybe i'm in denial. Nope, i'm not. I'm very aware of the outcome of my mom's illness and I am not fearful of death (feel free to ask about my beliefs around this...better yet stay tuned to a future blog). Now don't get me wrong, it's a sad situation and i'm empathetic to what my mom is going through, but i'm not sad. At that moment I decided that I will no longer live to the expectations of others, I will no longer be limited by the expectations of others, and I no longer will limit myself.
I told my bestie that I want to sell all my stuff (except my books and photos) and buy a bike. She suggested I hold on to some pieces. I understand her logic but then again that would be allowing someone to limit the life I desire. Yes, furniture can be expensive but luckily I didn't pay much for what I had and sure it took my a whole weekend to paint my table. It has brought me joy and it can bring someone else joy. Why hold on to things that can be replaced and who knows where I will be in life when my mom makes her transition? I do know that wherever I end up, I have no problem getting what I need. #Livewithoutlimits
Besides my bike, I want to date. A lot .Yeah, I have certain time constraints but when you are establishing a friendship there is no reason why it can't be worked around and the right people will understand. Now I probably won't lead in with "hi my name is courtney and my mom has cancer." I'm in a place life wise where I ready to be madly in love with the right person to the point where others may be slightly grossed out (but not really)#lovewithoutlimits
I want to travel more. Near and far. Supporting my mom has really slowed down the way I commit to things and has made me commit to less things freeing up my time. It has been awhile since I have had whole weekends to myself and now that it's becoming more of a norm, I see if becoming more of a norm to add some travel. #travelwithoutlimits
Last but not least, I want to maintain a mind of gratitude and joy regardless of those around me. Misery loves company but i'm not joining it. I consider myself lucky to be on a natural upper. Overall, I am happy with the way life flows and it takes a lot to bring be down. Honoring my truth, I will not sway with those around me. #joywithoutlimits
Leave it to death to make you want to live.
Yes! #withoutlimits
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your next installment.