Time is ticking and the countdown has begun.
In 29 days, I am scheduled to be on a flight back to the states. At first, I was strongly considering extending my time here....like really considering. After a lot of prayer, a lot of weighing of options and a whole lot of thinking, i've decided that I need to come home. There are several things that weighed in on my decision. If I extended, it would only be 3 months and the type of work/impact I would like to have would require a longer commitment. I think the thing that was a reoccurring thought was the fact that I put my life in the states on pause to come here and we all know eventually when you pause to long, you have to start over. I have slowly began establishing myself and getting settled in DC, I haven't even explored what all the city has to offer. If I were to extend I know at the end of that 3 months I would have the same feelings I have now, that I haven't had that much of an impact, haven't contributed fully and to my best abilities and that there is still more to accomplish. There will always be more here...at least for a long while. If it is in the cards for me to come back to South Sudan, then i'll make it back. But for now, I am shifting my thoughts to returning to the states and resuming life there. In 10 days I will be on a plane to Nairobi. I can not believe that my time here is almost up and i'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I have been in South Sudan almost 3 months and I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that in a month I will be back in DC beginning the next chapter of the Life and Times of Courtney C.Wright...
Yesterday I traveled back to Kuajok for the last time. Lucky for us, there was a group here from Korea who chartered a plane meaning we did not have to fly via Wau and take the 1.5hour trip to Kuajok on one of the worse roads in the world. We instead flew in a 10 seater plane (I was right behind the pilot!) and landed right in Kuajok. I was warmly received by my colleagues here and felt a bit sad that we will have only a few days together before I leave. I can say that for the most part I have gotten to know and work with some of the most amazing people I have met in my life. I have learned more from them and my interactions with them, then I have learned in my role. I think that is the hardest part about this type of work, everyone is from somewhere else, and because of this you never know when your paths will cross again. You truly have to make the most of the times shared because there is no guarantee that there will be another time. So, i'm going to take advantage of the time I have left here and that will probably result in this being the last email during my time here.
So what next? Really, not much. Wish I could say I had some big exciting plans after this experience, but I don't. I decided that I will backpack to Malawi via Dar es Salaam and take in some of the Africa countryside before departing this beautiful continent. I'll begin classes at the end of August, going full-time to ensure a May graduation. If all goes as planned, I will be back at my job at the shelter working part-time, leaving me with quite a bit or enough time on my hands to do something. I have no real plans about what to do with this time and if you know me, you know i'm a planner and for the first time, I have no real plan and I'm ok with that. I know I will be doing some volunteer work (something that has been missing in my life) and really trying to figure out just what it is that i'm supposed to do with my life.
What about South Sudan?
I am steadfast in the belief that the people here will survive and thrive despite the turbulent past. It is not going to be an easy road ahead, but there has been progress in the right direction. I haven't given up hope on South Sudan and I have faith that things will turn for the better. Things along the border still remain unstable and there is no telling when the end of war will truly come for the people here. I will be forever grateful for this opportunity and for the people who have made this a great experience for me.
I have learned a lot about this field of work and myself during this time. I know that I don't feel fulfilled without being connected to those i'm serving, that working within a large organization where people are known as a number and not a name is not for me, and that I really don't know exactly where it is that I am headed. I was able to confirm that being education is the right place for me and that I want to work both in the states and internationally (now I just need to figure out a way to bring both together). I also know that I have the best friends and family in the world and I will be forever grateful for the kind words and support that was given to me during this time. I don't believe what i'm doing is extraordinary or deserves recognition and praise, I do what I do because I love doing it and I have been blessed with a support network that encourages me to do it and to continue doing it. Thank you.
Stick a fork in me, i'm done! (well almost).
In 29 days, I am scheduled to be on a flight back to the states. At first, I was strongly considering extending my time here....like really considering. After a lot of prayer, a lot of weighing of options and a whole lot of thinking, i've decided that I need to come home. There are several things that weighed in on my decision. If I extended, it would only be 3 months and the type of work/impact I would like to have would require a longer commitment. I think the thing that was a reoccurring thought was the fact that I put my life in the states on pause to come here and we all know eventually when you pause to long, you have to start over. I have slowly began establishing myself and getting settled in DC, I haven't even explored what all the city has to offer. If I were to extend I know at the end of that 3 months I would have the same feelings I have now, that I haven't had that much of an impact, haven't contributed fully and to my best abilities and that there is still more to accomplish. There will always be more here...at least for a long while. If it is in the cards for me to come back to South Sudan, then i'll make it back. But for now, I am shifting my thoughts to returning to the states and resuming life there. In 10 days I will be on a plane to Nairobi. I can not believe that my time here is almost up and i'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I have been in South Sudan almost 3 months and I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea that in a month I will be back in DC beginning the next chapter of the Life and Times of Courtney C.Wright...
Yesterday I traveled back to Kuajok for the last time. Lucky for us, there was a group here from Korea who chartered a plane meaning we did not have to fly via Wau and take the 1.5hour trip to Kuajok on one of the worse roads in the world. We instead flew in a 10 seater plane (I was right behind the pilot!) and landed right in Kuajok. I was warmly received by my colleagues here and felt a bit sad that we will have only a few days together before I leave. I can say that for the most part I have gotten to know and work with some of the most amazing people I have met in my life. I have learned more from them and my interactions with them, then I have learned in my role. I think that is the hardest part about this type of work, everyone is from somewhere else, and because of this you never know when your paths will cross again. You truly have to make the most of the times shared because there is no guarantee that there will be another time. So, i'm going to take advantage of the time I have left here and that will probably result in this being the last email during my time here.
So what next? Really, not much. Wish I could say I had some big exciting plans after this experience, but I don't. I decided that I will backpack to Malawi via Dar es Salaam and take in some of the Africa countryside before departing this beautiful continent. I'll begin classes at the end of August, going full-time to ensure a May graduation. If all goes as planned, I will be back at my job at the shelter working part-time, leaving me with quite a bit or enough time on my hands to do something. I have no real plans about what to do with this time and if you know me, you know i'm a planner and for the first time, I have no real plan and I'm ok with that. I know I will be doing some volunteer work (something that has been missing in my life) and really trying to figure out just what it is that i'm supposed to do with my life.
What about South Sudan?
I am steadfast in the belief that the people here will survive and thrive despite the turbulent past. It is not going to be an easy road ahead, but there has been progress in the right direction. I haven't given up hope on South Sudan and I have faith that things will turn for the better. Things along the border still remain unstable and there is no telling when the end of war will truly come for the people here. I will be forever grateful for this opportunity and for the people who have made this a great experience for me.
I have learned a lot about this field of work and myself during this time. I know that I don't feel fulfilled without being connected to those i'm serving, that working within a large organization where people are known as a number and not a name is not for me, and that I really don't know exactly where it is that I am headed. I was able to confirm that being education is the right place for me and that I want to work both in the states and internationally (now I just need to figure out a way to bring both together). I also know that I have the best friends and family in the world and I will be forever grateful for the kind words and support that was given to me during this time. I don't believe what i'm doing is extraordinary or deserves recognition and praise, I do what I do because I love doing it and I have been blessed with a support network that encourages me to do it and to continue doing it. Thank you.
Stick a fork in me, i'm done! (well almost).
No comments:
Post a Comment